Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters
i dont wanna be.
let your heart out.
to my dearest mummy. haha. you're so bored in school ! i am too i am too. wahaha :D yuppsies. ohmy, im high right now and i just thought of what you told gerald ! ahaha. about getting high runs in the family and how he gets high ! (: WAHAHA. okay, it's rlly hilarious mummy. driving ! you're done with left and right turns i guess. haha. now's parking time. come on, master everything and get your license ! then you can drive me home everytime ! HOORAY. three cheers for mummy. alright. we're taking turns at this. it's good. my turns over. passing it on to you. anw, get well soon ! happy halloweeennn.
ERRR. hey gerald didi. haha. dont get too high alright ? haha. you've gotta control my highness. so if you go high, i also go high, then OHMY. mummy'll just die. wahaha (: there you go. blogged something for you.
i want to watch ONE TREE HILL so bad so bad. they're already showing season four in america ! and spore's not even showing season three yet. whats this whats this ! okay GEN-ER-BEEB, it's me first. im borrowing the vcd first. im already dying. one tree hill's just addictive ! haha. i need the season three right now right now. ohmy(:
for one more day.
let your heart out.
guess my grandma's birthday was cool after all. the cousins had one table, the adults had another. ohmy, it was so great. i just loved the talks we had at the table. those army stories everyone had. especially from my sister's boyfriend. haha. it was freaky. i've no idea how the they survive in army. oh i forgot, they're men. we were clinging glasses. having so much fun. i really miss these gatherings. cousins unite ! cant wait for the holiday. it's been ages since the whole big family went out for a holiday. lets go now.
taking photos nonstop. ohman. the korean actor and his fans ! haha :D but everyone became movie stars ! the cousins posing together while the parents were snapping and snapping. so many cameras, so many flashes. no one knew where to look. LOLLS. i didnt want to leave. it's always the case when im with them. i see them every week now. yet i didnt want to leave. my energy never dies off when im with them. i dont feel tired at all. those energy boosters :D
ohman, i love these teenage years. haha. right cari right. okay. im trying to keep the deal cho and i made. going to enjoy these teenage years. going high with cari. doing all the things the older ones cant ! haha(:
sean (:
my grandma and us (x
rachies !
my darlings :D
them.
many many others. the girls united, the guys united. haha. or the spiky hair united ! (: it was great fun.
i wanna be where the people are.
let your heart out.
i think my english vocabulary is bad. okay, i dont have to think. it is bad. i'm having so much difficulty trying to express my feelings in proper words. but it's so difficult. i just cant get that feeling expressed properly. it's horrible. i keep repeating myself and i just cant stand it. that impact is not there.
i know you dont get it at all. even i myself dont even get what im saying. that whole feeling is lost. it's so not that feeling i want to put across. i wanna make it seem so wow. so amazing. but it's just almost impossible. the words just dont show how much it means to me. how much it affects me. i'd rather just shut up then. that feeling just sucks. it's not that i dont wanna talk anymore. it's just... i dont know. it's a feeling that i cant express. it's not that i dont wanna tell you. but i find it so difficult. i dont even know how to express it and say it out. when i say it out, that feeling is so not there. the whole meaning just is wrong. is not what i wanna say. you'll get the wrong idea and i dont want that to happen. so yes, just shut up ally. you keep saying stuff. i dont wanna start hating you or anything. it's cos you mean so much to me. you really do. but those small little comments either make my day or just spoil my whole mood. usually, it just brings me down. it just makes my insides crumble. being that annoying sensitive ally again. -slaps.
i dont get how thats better than yours. i dont see how. really dont see how. can you please stop looking at things in such detail ? can you stop reading between the lines ? it's killing you ally. it really is. you're already struggling with so many things. stop it. just ignore them. stop finding more work. it's piling up yet again. dont ally dont. you're just gonna kill yourself with this. just let it go. i know it's hard but yes, let.it.go. you just told your juniors and trainees that they can go to the excos for help. people need your help girl. you cant break down now. you just cant. there's so many things that needs to be settled. all those council stuffs and friendships. friends are waiting for you too. be strong. you just cant break down.
you're lucky. you really are. stop that 'inside-you' from growing please. it's not doing you any good. it really aint.
oh shut up ally. someone shut me up.
let your heart out.
i think my english vocabulary is bad. okay, i dont have to think. it is bad. i'm having so much difficulty trying to express my feelings in proper words. but it's so difficult. i just cant get that feeling expressed properly. it's horrible. i keep repeating myself and i just cant stand it. that impact is not there.
i know you dont get it at all. even i myself dont even get what im saying. that whole feeling is lost. it's so not that feeling i want to put across. i wanna make it seem so wow. so amazing. but it's just almost impossible. the words just dont show how much it means to me. how much it affects me. i'd rather just shut up then. that feeling just sucks. it's not that i dont wanna talk anymore. it's just... i dont know. it's a feeling that i cant express. it's not that i dont wanna tell you. but i find it so difficult. i dont even know how to express it and say it out. when i say it out, that feeling is so not there. the whole meaning just is wrong. is not what i wanna say. you'll get the wrong idea and i dont want that to happen. so yes, just shut up ally. you keep saying stuff. i dont wanna start hating you or anything. it's cos you mean so much to me. you really do. but those small little comments either make my day or just spoil my whole mood. usually, it just brings me down. it just makes my insides crumble. being that annoying sensitive ally again. -slaps.
i dont get how thats better than yours. i dont see how. really dont see how. can you please stop looking at things in such detail ? can you stop reading between the lines ? it's killing you ally. it really is. you're already struggling with so many things. stop it. just ignore them. stop finding more work. it's piling up yet again. dont ally dont. you're just gonna kill yourself with this. just let it go. i know it's hard but yes, let.it.go. you just told your juniors and trainees that they can go to the excos for help. people need your help girl. you cant break down now. you just cant. there's so many things that needs to be settled. all those council stuffs and friendships. friends are waiting for you too. be strong. you just cant break down.
you're lucky. you really are. stop that 'inside-you' from growing please. it's not doing you any good. it really aint.
oh shut up ally. someone shut me up.
let your heart out.
yesterday's practice was fast and quick. haha. i guess it was really fun (: probably because she wasnt there ! haha. oh not only that, we sorted out somethings among ourselves yeah ? i guess i felt so much better after letting it all out. haha. cari was getting high. she was just imagining. (i was helping her imagine too !) haha. dont i just love gg high with cari ? it was hilarious.
my mummy does miracles. i just found that out yesterday. all she did was put her hand on my head and i just felt that all my problems were drained off. is she amazing or is she amazing ? she's amazing. haha. i know(:
got back our report books today. the level position and class position werent written down. i like it this way. haha. i think i de-proved (if there's such a word). yuck ): applied for EAGLES. was running up and down, everywhere with sonia and gretl. it was so tiring. i didnt know so many teachers had to sign the form ! wahaha. cleared my locker. as usual, the uber heavy books and files. the newspapers were heavy ! there were ga-zillion chinese newspapers that i chucked in the locker. shouldve listened to amee and brought stuff home. was just plain laziness. history just repeats itself year after year. WAHAHA :D
it's been ages since the four of us went out. really glad that we managed to find time for each other today ! it was great catching up with charms deni and amee. oh how i miss the good old days.
i like mr.j's reflections. i find them so meaningful. why do we fall ? so that we can pick ourselves back up again. i think that's from batman.
if i had one last wish.
let your heart out.
it's those problems that're coming back up again ): ive three people online who're talking to me. mummy ms ang cassandra. yes, ms ang just talked and i have no idea how we ended up talking about problems that we both are facing. that was random. the best part of it all is that mummy and ms ang actually echo each other. so it hits me twice, goes into my head and gets locked up there. -pokes.
i liked the 'resilience' talk that ms scully gave. i just love those very emotional talks ? those that go deep into how a person acts etc. that probably explains why i like talking to ms scully so much. she understands how we teenagers think and feel and can relate back to us. we all had to choose something that describes us. a symbol. i chose the glass. a glass looks so clear and nice on the outside. but it's still holding so much on the inside. there's always a limit to it's volume. it holds until it feels like it cant take anymore and everything just spills out of it. the glass is so fragile and so easily broken. yet many still want to have it (be like it). when there're many many cups around, the glass seems so transparent that people just can miss it. people just look through it. i guess it's really jus how i feel. sometimes so transparent. i'll keep holding everything inside. but yes, there's always a limit to it. gotta try to do what ms ang taught me to do.
if only that was possible huh. only if i can have the joy that no one can take away. only if that can ever happen. i wonder what it would be like.
ni hai hui ji de wo ma ?
let your heart out.
really hope that those army boys would be able to join us ! it was so fun when they were there singing along. they've been doing it for three years now, loads of experience. they'll be able to cover up my horrible mistakes (which i know i'll have many) ohmy, now im into the christmas mood already. everyone was just singing and singing. it was just so nice to hear everyone standing around the piano singing. that unity. it's something so amazing. that was after how many years of bonding ? -thinks hard.
life has really changed after joining this ministry ! there's so much more to life compared to the past. thanks to grace my mummy ! she's influenced me so much and she's made such a big impact on my life. mummy dear, i love you ! (:
today was great. it was father simon pereira. yes he is good ! liked what he talked about during homily. guess many felt motivated to do what he asked us to. i missed the seniors ! so happy to see them back in school again. aretha, thanks for your melted choc ! oh, i need to thank trishala and sueann for their chocs too. they were generous enough to give me one ! haha(: praise and worship was fun. except for that song ! no one knew how to sing it. the seniors were going wild. their enthusiasm was jus superb. seeing them back with us made me feel so relieved. i felt like i had someone to lean back on. trishala was there to back me up. i didnt feel as lost and helpless. the excos were back. they knew exactly what to do. it was just that wonderful feeling of being free. no longer trapped and pressured. just like those two birds that were set free, lets all fly on eagles wings ! (the birds are still flying around in school)
council meeting was short. we didnt go into much detail. there's going to be a recap during the next meeting. with the new trainees. i wonder how they're going to act. i remember clearly how horrifying the atmosphere was during my first meeting. ): yuck. haha. i guess history will just repeat itself. at least it wont be as bad as stephanie's batch ! (i miss you stephanie !)
im trying hard not to be so affected by everything but it seems that im so sensitive these days. im getting so much more sensitive. yuck ): cho ! i cant control anymore. it was a bad choice huh ? -shrugs.
wo he ni shou qian shou shuo yao yi qi zou dao zui hou.
let your heart out.
it was snormpitle day on tuesday ! stayed back with cho jia cass. it was the usual practice. the little notes, as crappy as ever ! (: but it was really fun. we went really deep deep this time tho. we talked about our inner thoughts. opening up the little doors. i guess it felt quite wrong in a way. i mean, these thoughts should be kept inside. now after revealing, there'll be this weird feeling. people now do know what your inner thoughts are. they might be watching you. yupps. but i guess that feeling faded off as the days passed.
newbies ! we chose them and finalised it all. we did have mini debates for some, but others were either a definite no or yes. those times were easy, but the debates- yuck. : didnt like it a bit. there were some that we kept thinking about. just kept on discussing. yes, those special cases. :D
managed to get a ride home after school on wednesday from my family. haha. it was great. didnt have to waste time ! haha. could reach home fast. thankyou popo ! (: i owe my mummy a treat. haha. she helped me do well in unseen lit ! xD
secondary fourone, you're a funny bunch. you didnt hit your target of 10 paper cranes each ! haha. and please dont use the tables as beds ! lolls.
ive no comments on the post exam activities in school. some were great, some were just plain boring. im really sorry but yes. i liked the talk on 'resilience' that ms scully gave. that was a good one ! some were just talking nonstop throughout. that's their loss. could learn so many things from it. the career talk was good too. today i just felt like doing paper cranes the whole day. time passes fast when we're doing the paper cranes. hahaha. :D it was fun. lets do it more often !
and wisdom to know the difference.
let your heart out.
the day started with those demoralising papers. ): i didnt really expect myself to score an A but i guess i wanted more than a B. okay, i'm not making sense. it's okay i guess. times like these people just dont think straight. the day just got worse. more and more horrible papers. was quite disappointed in my literature tho. but hey ! "my heart leaps up" was tough. so it was okay.
ohmy. im so annoyed now. my whole mood is not swung back and forth. seeing those and talking to cari and cho. sighs- im so glad that i've them to cheer me up. reading our convo just makes me smile but everytime i click and flip, ohplease. i just cant take it. thats why i keep emphasizing that i think there's something wrong. ): i mean... okay, i dont wanna reveil too much too. it's just what i feel, it's just what i think. it's those times when i sit down and reflect. i think through everything. it's not about people but maybe more about me. i'm weird. im telling you i am. thats a statement. thats a fact. : okay shit. im just... okay, there's just no way to explain and elaborate, is there ? i look at her and her and her. all those people around me. they seem to be all fine. they know exactly everything thats going on. urghh. i need my listening ear. but i dont know how to say it. dont know how to open up. -breaks out in tears. why. this is something i really want an answer to. the questions that're popping in my head. there's just so many whys. there's no way i can get an answer to it. something like a rhetorical question huh. urgghh.
something one of the newbies said "a good leader values other people's opinions" -quote, unquote. yupp. so true. so true. something new huh :D
then she flew away.
let your heart out.
i just dont understand how it is possible that people think so differently. here we are trying to prove to others that what they say about us is totally wrong. yet there are some out there who do exactly what others say of them. it is utterly disgusting. they spoiled my mood, and i bet they spoiled everyone's mood. stop shouting and behave yourselves. it was so tempting to walk up to them and ask them to stop whatever they were doing. but i guess we just didnt have the right to. we had such big reactions to the news but i guess not everyone felt the same as we did. what can we do ? :
it was fun celebrating grace's birthday. the talk was great. those pictures that we took. the wedding rehearsal we went to. the day ended well.
it was friday that we started getting back our papers. got back lit. amath. chi. eng. chem. some we didnt get back the full papers. oh man, we're all waiting anxiously for the rest of the results to come out. so far it's all average. it's just not good enough. got buck up.
the wedding was great. seeing flashes everywhere. everyone has a smile plastered on their faces. grinning and laughing. it was so fun. i've never had such fun in the choir since i joined. the snapping of the camera. my gosh, it was nonstop. everyone was posing at different sides calling for people to take pictures for them. it was probably just one of the fun days for the choir peeps. i guess i'll definitely be looking forward to christmas. it'll be the next time everyone's cameras will be snapping nonstop. the smart looking guys. coat and tie ? haha. we'll see how it turns out then.
my headache and throat's just getting worse. my head's still feels like it's being squeezed. yuck. i hate this feeling. it totally spoils my mood. went to the doctors this morning and got my medicine. went for mass and i guess meeting those wonderful people just made my day. it was great. spent hours on the computer after. it's not good for me but i was determined to find him. haha. it was tiring and i've still not found him. cari cari, come online hurry ! then we'll try together. yupp. it's so difficult to find. cari tried, didnt work. i tried too.
cari cari we're either colour blind or our matching skills are horrible. you just cant seem to wear matching earrings. i just cant seem to be choosing the correct colours. haha. yes, i know it's creamy-white chris. haha. it's just so weird. i'll try one day. a large round earring, and a long one. haha. we'll wear together yeah(:
im looking forward to the trainee interview tomorrow. hopefully some of them are impressive. hopefully some will give us the answers that we thought was the 'wow' answers. it'll be exciting, definitely. hope my headache doesnt affect my mood.
cheerios ! :D
would you lie with me and just forget the world ?
let your heart out.
cari cari ! i wanna show you something ! haha. come online now !
yay it's so fun. everything's over right now. there's much fun and laughter going on around. but there's also those problematic stuff that just drains off all your energy. it's amazing how small little problems drain off everything from you. :
there's nothing much thats happening around. only the horrible exam stress and the gastric flu and the haze. i'll blog when life gets more interesting.
when you left i lost a part of me.
let your heart out.
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